On the Love Language of Food

            Plenty of books and articles have been written on love languages, but I feel there’s a unique language that shares traits with acts of service, quality time, and giving gifts: that is, the love language of food.  As James Beard wrote, “Food is our common ground, a universal experience,” and naturally, it is a universally recognized expression of the cook’s love toward the recipients.  For this reason, most cultures consider the giving of food a necessary part of good hospitality and parenting, and we often give food as presents to everyone from customers and coworkers to family and friends.  Furthermore, we may prepare food so others don’t have to as a considerate act of service, and we typically use meals—whether homemade, catered, or potluck—as an icebreaker and time for fellowship.  (And food often functions as one of the topics of conversation!)  

As with any other love language, food given grudgingly or carelessly, or shared in an atmosphere of discord won’t communicate love—only duty.  However, assuming the cook has loving intentions, one can easily see the truth behind the adage, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Cooking for other people is really like giving them a valentine.  When the food is well liked and timely given, the gift blesses both the giver and the receiver, and even if the fare is objectionable, often the thought still counts to some degree.  Even so, the effort put into the food does serve to demonstrate the depth of the giver’s love; while parents who buy food for their kids clearly care for them, the father who occasionally goes the extra mile to make pancakes himself and even shape them into Mickey Mouse, snowmen, and other fun forms, or the mother who takes care to prepare nutritious lunches rather than slapping together quick, processed calories clearly demonstrate a deep love that surpasses duty.

While time constraints, personal abilities, and proclivities may make cooking an impractical way for some people to demonstrate their feelings toward a person with the love language of food, even making an effort to remember the person’s food preferences or to buy special treats that the person enjoys can demonstrate affection.  Picky and careless eaters would also do well to understand this love language so that they can see the love behind even unwelcome gifts of food and learn to show proper appreciation—and to respond to the giver in the language they will understand.