On Frivolities

Our time on this earth seems too short or too long on given days; we speak of needing to “kill” time and yet regret “wasted” time; we often have so much to do and so little time, yet choose to spend hours in some less essential or frivolous pursuit to escape those responsibilities.  What fickle people we are! 

I’m one of those people who feels guilty when she takes a day to herself.  My husband does not—he can spend entire days gaming with not a twinge of regret.  I, however, feel compelled to accomplish.... something.  The basics of grooming and seeing to meals and the dishes isn’t even enough—I need to add to it laundry or cleaning or errands or exercise or visiting people or any of a long list of projects I’m involved with on my computer.  On days I get so engrossed in a book or useless project that I neglect undesirable work of a higher priority, self-hate follows as soon as I snap out of my activity’s grip.

I’m sure that, with a skilled apologist, few pastimes could be considered completely frivolous—at least in and of themselves.  One’s perspective on them depends upon context and, perhaps, comparison.  In a context in which a person must immediately attend to a job or bills or a leaky roof or a person who would not otherwise receive care, all other activities become frivolous (not to mention short-sighted or selfish).  Yet, in a context in which a person has no other responsibilities, personal pursuits have a more positive stigma.  Even then, however, compared with rescuing victims of an earthquake or witnessing to a neighbor or studying environmental conservation, certainly a selfish activity like reading a novel seems frivolous.  Yet, clarify that the reader is stressed to the point of rudeness or tears and that the book is relaxing, cheering, and giving the reader much-needed perspective on his problem, then that person’s context renders the activity far from frivolous.  Eight hours of novel reading, though, may seem excessive to accomplish his purpose.  Where does one draw the line and say “okay, time to get back to work” or “time to do something different”?  Who decides when guilt over such pursuits is deserved or unnecessary?

I can’t answer this question for all people and circumstances, but I will identify one clear sign that frivolities must give way to something more purposeful: a decline in mental, physical, or spiritual health.  That is, if a person’s “relaxation” turns into languor or depression from feeling useless, if a person neglects nutrition and hygiene and sanitation beyond a reasonable time, if a person grows self-centered and uncivil from becoming accustomed to only pleasing himself, and if a person begrudges God his time each day—then personal activities are truly frivolous.  At the first sign of decline, one should set personal pursuits aside and set about correcting the problem, whether it is to make an effort to eat right, to exercise, to clean, to visit with people, to do something that helps others, or most importantly, to speak with God.  
("Should"... yet oh, how the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!)

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." (attributed, among others, to Joseph Addison)